Battle Wounds
by unchartedroads
Summary: A post-war Lavender Brown is left with hideous scars. Finding peace within her own mind and body from the aftermath of the war may prove to be harder than she thought, but she doesn't necessarily have to face it alone. Lavender/Seamus
1. Sleeping Draught

Muffled voices reached Lavender's ears from the distance. It was no use, straining to hear what was being said. She felt like she was submerged in water. A gentle hand tipped back a thick, sweet-tasting liquid into her mouth, which was the routine every time she woke up, and almost instantly she fell back into a dreamless sleep.

Lavender was awoken by pain. It was a dull pain, one that was being covered up and muted by something in her system, but it was pain nonetheless. She had no way of knowing how long she had been asleep for. It felt like it had been years since she had last moved. Her eyelids fluttered open, but the blinding light made her squeeze them shut again.

"Lav?" The voice was of a high pitch, sweet and excited and all too familiar. "I think she's waking up! Lavender? Can you hear me?"

Lavender tried to speak, but her lips seemed to be glued together. Her dry tongue felt heavy and alien-like in her own mouth. A warm hand was placed on her forehead, and then someone opened her jaw. She expected the thick liquid again, but cold water filled her mouth instead, some of it dribbling out down her chin. It was as if Lavender had forgotten until now that she had a throat, and she began swallowing fiercely.

"Now don't go and make yourself sick," said a calm voice, stopping the flow of water. "Mrs. Brown, will you please close the curtains?"

Lavender could tell from behind her closed eyelids that the room had gotten darker, and she slowly opened her eyes, gazing around the hospital wing. "Mum?"

"Oh, Lavy!" Her mum leaned over her and kissed her head. Wet tears were pooling in her eyes as she looked into Lavender's face. "I apparated as soon as I got the owl. I was so worried, Lav!"

"So... we... won?" Lavender spluttered, feeling something warm spreading throughout her.

Her mum was sobbing now, one hand to her mouth as if to stifle the noise, her head bobbing profusely. "Yes."

Lavender felt relief and triumph for only a moment, and then the pain took over, causing her to wince. "It... hurts."

"Well, I'll say!" said Madame Pomfrey, fixing the sheets of the hospital bed. "You fell quite a long ways off the balcony. Not to mention your encounter with the werewolf!"

All of a sudden she remembered it, the grey blur of a man running on all fours, the stench of his foul breath as it was only inches from her nose, and the intense pain that was followed by endless blackness.

Madame Pomfrey gently patted her on the left cheek. "There, there, dear, he's gone. You had many broken bones, but I've gone and mended them. They'll be completely healed in no time. You're a true fighter, you know. Must be the Gryffindor in you."

There was information being kept from her. Lavender slowly moved her left hand across her body, reaching toward the stinging pain. She gasped as her fingers met bandages over her chest and right shoulder, and they continued up to the right side of her face.

Madame Pomfrey shook her head. "I handled a situation almost identical to this one just last year with the eldest Weasley boy. I'm sorry to say this, but you will always have the scars. Those I cannot heal."

Lavender shut her eyes, the memories becoming too vivid. Hot breath on her shoulder, ripping through the flesh. Snarling teeth. "Please, Madame Pomfrey. Make me go to sleep again."


	2. Visiting Hours

"Look, Sleeping Beauty has finally decided to wake up!"

Parvati was referring to the tale that she and Lavender had read in Muggle Studies during their fifth year. Lavender thought it was a rather drab story, to be honest. Where was the action? Where was the part where the princess fought and didn't just sit back her entire life letting everyone else protect her?

"Sleeping Beauty? Yeah, right." Lavender knew that beauty was not the word to come to mind when met with her current appearance. She was bandaged and swollen, and she hadn't had a proper wash in a while. She yawned and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. When she opened her them again, she finally took in her surroundings and registered what was going on. "Parvati! Dean! Seamus! You all made it out alright!"

"More than alright," Seamus said. His face was still badly cut and bruised from the Carrows, making him almost entirely unrecognizable except for the sandy hair and the unmistakable Irish accent.

Parvati was sitting on the edge of Lavender's bed, her feet carefully tucked under herself. "How are you feeling, Lav?"

"I-I'm doing better. What about everyone else?" Their faces turned grim. Lavender sucked in her breath and bit down hard on her lip. When she spoke again, it was barely more than a whisper. "How many? Who?"

There had been at least fifty casualties. Of these, the ones whom Lavender knew were Colin Creevey, Professor Lupin, his wife, and Fred Weasley. Colin had been a fellow D.A. member who had come back to Hogwarts to fight. He hadn't even been of age yet. Lupin had been the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Lavender had ever had, and to make things worse, his wife had just had a baby. Then there was Fred, Lavender's ex-boyfriend's older brother. Fred and his twin George were a hilarious duo, and they were rarely ever seen apart. Something ached in the pit of Lavender's stomach.

"How are the Weasleys holding up? Have you seen them?"

"George is a mess," Parvati said, shaking her head. "They all are. It's wretched."

"Ahem," Madame Pomfrey came over with her arms full. "I'm about to change Lavender's bandages. Time for you lot to leave."

"No, no, they're fine," Lavender said. She didn't want them to go. Not after everything that had happened.

"Dear, I don't mean to be rude, but your wounds... They're not pretty."

"It's fine, really. They're my friends," Lavender directed her attention to Seamus, Parvati, and Dean. "Unless you want to leave?"

"We're fine," Seamus insisted.

"Very well, then," Madame Pomfrey consented and then began to carefully remove the bandages.

She heard a sharp intake of breath from Parvati. Lavender watched their faces closely as Madame Pomfrey applied a harsh-smelling green ointment to her wounds. A wide-eyed Parvati was biting her lip, trying hard not to appear repulsed by the scene. Dean shifted uncomfortably, rubbing his elbow and grinding his foot into the floor. Seamus looked back at Lavender nonchalantly, as if nothing was even happening. Something about this made her smile, and he returned the favor, a grin stretching across his swollen, beat-up face.

"Seamus, how come you haven't gotten Madame Pomfrey to fix you up? The Carrows are gone now."

Madame Pomfrey huffed, wrapping her up in new bandages. "Doesn't want to be fixed, he says. Wants to 'heal naturally.'" It was obvious that she took this personally.

Seamus shrugged. "They're battle wounds, aren't they? They're something to be proud of, not something to try and hide."

Lavender looked down, and then back up at him, understanding. "A reminder of what you fought for."

"Exactly. I'll heal eventually. And you know what, Lavender?"

"What?"

"So will you."


	3. You, Me, and the Giant Squid

"My mum's only condition was that I write her and dad frequently," Lavender said, walking along the lake's shore with Seamus. "I really just want to finish off the last month and a half of our seventh year."

"Fantastic! And now you'll be here to keep me company." He waggled his eyebrows at her, and turned to skip a pebble across the water. "Wait for it... Aha!" On the third skip, a tentacle rose out of the water. It grabbed onto the pebble and slowly sank back into the depths of the lake. "Aw, damn, it didn't throw it back this time! Come on, Squiddie!"

Lavender shook her head. "I see that the war has matured you."

"You know what I think, Lav?" he asked, looking at her smugly before rolling up his trousers to his knees and wading through the water. "I think you're jealous."

"Jealous of what? Your friendship with the giant squid?"

"No, the fact that I know how to have fun."

Lavender opened her mouth in protest. "Seamus, there hasn't been any time for games!"

"But now there is," Seamus said, and he got a mischievous gleam in his eyes before kicking water at her.

The bottom half of her cloak was soaking wet, and she could only look back at him in shock. His lips upturned into a sly grin, and slowly, the same facial expression mirrored his on her own face. She ran into the water, clothes and all, aiming to splash him back. Seamus leapt out of the way just in time, but Lavender tackled him. His palms caught their fall in the shallow water. There he was, leaning back on his arms, and there she was, straddling him. Lavender realized how close their faces were to each other. She blushed deeply and quickly stood up, dripping wet and shivering.

"Erm, sorry."

"I guess I stand corrected, don't I?" Seamus got to his feet and shook out his wet hair like a dog, spraying Lavender.

"Hey!"

"Oh, come off it. You're already wet. Think we should head back up to the castle before people think the giant squid got us? It's almost time for dinner."

"Shit, is it really? I promised Parvati I'd work on the Divination homework with her!"

"Then we'll go in. You two have always had a thing for that sort of stuff, haven't you? Palm reading and crystal balls?" Soaked and cold, they trudged up to the shore.

"You think it's a load of codswallop, don't you?"

Seamus shook his head. "Not all of it. Doesn't matter what I think, anyway. If you like it, then that's all that matters." In the pause, Lavender's teeth chattered. Seamus pulled his wand out of his back pocket. "We're freezing our arses off. Here." He performed a quick drying spell on them both.

"Thanks." She was still cold, but at least she wasn't soaking wet anymore. They made their way across the grounds.

"Race you to the common room?"

Lavender showed her consent to his challenge by taking a head start. She wrenched open the heavy door to the castle and ducked inside, Seamus following close behind. Their laughter and the sound of their feet slapping against the floor echoed loudly, making the paintings sneer and mutter, but Lavender didn't care. The path back to the common room was so familiar that she could walk it blindfolded. They barely paused at the changing staircases and soon they were barreling through the portrait hole.

"I won!"

"No, you didn't. I did, fair and square."

Lavender put her hands on her knees, gasping for breath. "Not true!"

"Really!" Seamus said, glancing around the room for a witness. "Patil, who won?"

"It was a tie," Parvati said, rolling her eyes. "How old are we?"

Lavender felt silly all of a sudden. Her cheeks flushed pink. "Sorry for being so late. I forgot all about Divination."

"S'okay, I sort of started without you anyway."

Lavender's clothes felt stiff. "I'm going up to change," she announced.

"I'll go too," said Parvati, following Lavender up the staircase to the dormitories. "So," she said once they had closed the door, smirking. "What was all that about?"

"All what about?" Lavender said dumbly, rifling through her trunk for a clean pair of socks.

"You like him, don't you?"

"N-"

"Did you snog? Better yet, did you shag?"

"Parvati!"

"Oh, stuff it. I'm only teasing. You two did go to the Yule Ball together, if you recall."

"That was fourth year," Lavender said, exasperated. She stripped down to her underclothes. "A lot has changed since then. I've changed."

Parvati flung herself onto the nearest bed as she waited for Lavender to finish dressing. "True. Must I bring up your relationship with Ron?"

A pillow hit Parvati square on the face. "Merlin, Parvati!" She paused, mulling over her past relationship. "I was so awful."

"And clingy!" Parvati chimed in. Another pillow flew across the room at her.

"Like I said, things are different now." It was true. This year had completely transformed her.

They headed back downstairs to the common room. Dean was sprawled out on the sofa, and there were some third years playing wizard's chess and chattering in the corner. Seamus sat on the floor by the fireplace.

"Finally!" Dean said, stretching. "Everyone else is in the Great Hall already. I'm starved. Let's go, Finnigan." Seamus had his wand pointed at the fire, trying to control its movements. "You're going to set the whole common room on fire, you twat."

* * *

><p>The troop entered the Great Hall, mouths watering from all of the delicious smells. The Great Hall was uncharacteristically empty. It was similar to what it looked like for the holidays, with most deciding to stay home for the rest of the year. The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw table were the fullest of the four, and Hufflepuff had a decent amount of students left. Then there was the Slytherin table, which was dreadfully empty. Some stragglers sat together. They were the few whose parents weren't Death Eaters.<p>

School was a lot different now. There were fewer classes until next year, when some new teachers would be hired to fill in positions. Lavender thought that the only reason Professor McGonagall hadn't closed the school for the rest of the year was for the students like them, who didn't want to be anywhere else.

Upon entering the hall, eyes wandered over to her. Lavender felt naked for a moment, and had to look down at herself to make sure she wasn't. Stares. Whispers. It was unnerving.

_Oh yeah_, Lavender thought bitterly. She had spent the day with her friends and had nearly forgotten. _I'm hideous now._


	4. Uncertainties

**AN: Wow, it's been over a year since I've visited this story! Thanks for your sweet reviews. I was in the mood to pick it back up for the fun of it. Don't take it too seriously, as I find myself just experimenting with this fic in every way I can.**

She looked at her reflection, tracing the jagged cuts on her cheek with a finger. They were green from the salve Madame Pomfrey instructed her to apply every day, and they oozed from time to time. Lavender once prided herself on her appearance. She was like any other teenage girl, reading Witch's Weekly, trying out new potions on her hair to make it behave, buying makeup products that changed her lips different shades of pink and red depending on her mood, ogling over boys like Ron Weasley.

Now what was she?

She didn't look like Lavender. She didn't even feel like Lavender, to be honest. It was as if the horrible year with the Carrows and Snape, the war, the fighting... It had cracked her hard exterior and revealed something darker and angrier within her.

Or maybe it was just teenage angst hitting her a tad late.

Lavender turned away from her ugly, disfigured face. Close your eyes, count to ten, and you're you again.

As long as she didn't venture out of the common room or glance into any mirrors, her words would ring true.

"You awake, Lav?" Parvati said sleepily from her four-poster. It was just the two of them in their dormitory now that most everyone had cleared out of the school.

"No," Lavender said, forcing a smile onto her face and coming to sit on her friend's bed.

Parvati grumbled something about it being really early. Lavender stroked her long, dark hair until Parvati closed her eyes again, then stood up and got dressed. The common room was empty when she came downstairs. She decided she may as well get a start on her Transfiguration homework, not that she really felt the need to do homework anymore. The teachers weren't giving as much as they used to, nor did they really care when someone forgot to turn it in. Lavender thought the teachers were just going through the motions of teaching, and realized that she was just going through the motions of being a student.

Lavender tried to imagine life without Hogwarts and felt her stomach clench. She had no clue what she wanted to do with her life. She had thoroughly looked into some entrepreneurial opportunities the year before, hoping to start her own salon for witches who were too clumsy performing spells on their own hair. She soon tired of this idea and thought of creating her own line of products, but she wasn't the best at Potions and would likely have to partner with someone. She even considered teaching Divination, although she didn't think she could strengthen her Inner Eye enough to be a teacher. And now she was more confused and pressured than ever. It was the end of seventh year, she would soon be of age, and she had no idea what she was going to do. Even worse, where could she work with a face like this? She honestly hadn't given it serious thought until now.

Lavender hit her palm to her forehead and cursed herself for being so stupid. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it sooner. She packed up her books without having read a word and climbed out of the portrait hole, running until she found herself panting in the North Tower underneath a trapdoor. "P-Professor?"

The trapdoor opened and Lavender climbed the ladder up to the classroom. "Professor?"

The room smelled more perfumey than usual. It was empty except for an armchair by the fireplace, where a frizzy-haired woman sat with a cup of tea clasped to her chest. Professor Trelawney didn't react to Lavender coming in. "I knew you'd be coming soon, dear."

There were wide cracks in the stone and in some areas the walls were crumbling from the damage done to the school. A lot of the wreckage had been cleaned up by the teachers, but Professor Trelawney seemed content with her room staying how it was.

"Professor, I have a problem that needs sorting out. Actually, more like a question."

"About your future, dear girl?"

"Well, yeah," Lavender said, and the professor looked pleased with herself. "You see, I'm almost done here at Hogwarts and... And I don't really know what I'm going to do, you know, career-wise. I can't believe I haven't asked you before! But I guess I didn't worry about it until now, and..." She trailed off, realizing she was babbling. "Do you think you could give me some answers, Professor?"

Professor Trelawney turned to look at her with her magnified eyes and put down her teacup. "My dear, your future is unclear to you for a reason. You will figure things out, but for now I do not wish to meddle with your fate. I sense that your anxiety is stemming from a different source, an uncertainty that has nothing to do with your future career."

"Please," Lavender pleaded, holding back frustrated tears. "Please, Professor, I need to know!"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot help you." She picked up her teacup again and said, "Go now, dear. Don't you fret, the worst has passed."


End file.
